Before I met my husband, I was out almost every weekend and walking in at 6/7am in the morning.
When I met him I had ‘calmed down’ and he wasn’t a big drinker so weekends out dwindled and then we were saving to get married and go on honeymoon.
Then we got pregnant and I became a recluse due to suffering with extreme sickness. My pregnancy wasn’t the greatest but something I am grateful for because Dillon overcame obstacles and I grew stronger as a person.
I’ve been to one main event since Dil was born and that was a wedding, he was 2 months old and I had him with me the whole time (he slept, I basked at the compliments received about him) but we went to bed at 10pm.
I’ve never been comfortable leaving him with others and I think this is why I’m so anxious to return to work. It’s just been me and him, just the two of us when husband/daddy is at work.
I can hear experienced moms in the background shouting out how I’ve set myself up to fail, I’ll have a clingy baby, blah blah blah.
And I agree with them, I probably have set myself up to fail but the moment I saw him, the moment I heard him cry, the first time he looked at me, I was hooked!
I’ve never had drugs but I imagine the euphoric affects are the same. Like coffee.
I went out for an adult meal the other day and cried when I left Dillon. Is it going to be like this all the time?
Tomorrow night he goes for a sleepover with my sister and neices. I’m going to a 30th birthday party, I don’t know what bothers me more:
- Getting dolled up or;
- Not being in bed for 8pm.
I know he is going to be fine, I know they are all going to have fun and she will give him chocolate pudding and I’ll enjoy a cocktail (or two!) and a rare night out with friends and Alex (husband!).
So, why can’t I be excited about being ‘free’ and not having an alarm clock?
Why am I not excited that I’m going out with friends who were great to me during my pregnancy?
Why can’t I let go?
I’m interested to know if there are any tips, techniques, even breathing exercises and advice that can be given to make this change easier on me, I know Dillon and everyone else will be fine!!
Do you have the same worries? Same concerns? Don’t want to leave your baby with someone else? Did you overcome the anxiety of not being in the same place?